Sunshine and Roses, Mud and Weeds

I can’t believe I’m starting a blog. I sort of have a love/hate relationship with blogs. I love some of the blog posts I’ve read (I’ll be sure to share those with you another time). Blogs give you a chance to see into a stranger’s life. It’s a great way to keep up with the happenings of friends and family. And if we’re honest, Pinterest would be boring without blogs, and I love me some Pinterest. The thing that I hate about blogs is that it makes people’s lives look like it’s always sunshine and roses. You know what I mean – rooms that are always clean, food that is always pretty, crafts that are always well-crafted, kids that are always clean, pretty AND well-crafted. When I read sunshine-and-roses blogs, all I can see about my life is mud and weeds. I am really bad about comparing my lows to other people’s highs and blogs just make me feel bad about myself. 

For example, a few weeks ago, I was planning meals for the week (a rare occurrence) and I remembered that my dear friend Mary had told me that she had posted some of her family’s favorite recipes on her blog. Mary has been married for a few years, has a two year old boy and a nine month old girl. Her husband has a job downtown, so his work hours plus the commute keep him away from home for almost all of the day. Basically, she has a lot on her plate and things can get stressful. Emily and I play with them at least once a week, usually more like three times a week. Anyway, as I perused Mary’s blog looking for the recipes, I ended up reading a lot of the blog posts. And even though I am well acquainted with the realities of her everyday life, all I could see was sunshine and roses.  Her life seemed so wonderful and she seemed so perfect and I started feeling bad about myself. I was over at her house a few hours later, and her rambunctious little boy was being extra toddlery and the baby was heck-bent on eating grass and then the toddler was hitting and my daughter was screaming bloody murder in his face which of course made him scream and even with two adults there, things were just out of hand. And I realized in that moment that real life always looks nicer on a screen. My friend wasn’t perfect and her life wasn’t always wonderful and I just needed to chill out with my blog guilt.

Yesterday, Robert and I attended a Families Supporting Adoption conference put on by LDS Family Services. During a Q&A panel, an adoptive mother mentioned that she kept a blog so that all the birth parents of her three adopted children could see how their child was doing without have to go through an agency or make a phone call or even have anyone know that they were checking in. Later in the day, a birth mother mentioned that she loved being able to look at a potential adoptive family's blog and see what they were really like. At that moment, I felt prompted by the Spirit to start a blog, if for no other reason than to help a potential birth mother connect with our family, both before and after placement. 

So, in spite of my rocky relationship with blogs, here I am blogging. I’m going to keep it real here. I will definitely be sharing our sunshine and roses, but don't you worry, I won’t leave out the mud and weeds. :)